To me from 2019

Hello Ronald from whatever age.
It's me, Ronald from 2019. Specifically January 31st Ronald at 4:37pm, 1 and a half hours before my Data Structures exam.
I wanted to thank Ronald of 2016 for his kind words of assurance, and to say that I'm working on getting better still. I even managed to finish some Gundam kits! (Currently working on the Perfect Grade Exia)

This is pretty much my last chance at being a succesful student, so the best is the only thing I can do if I want to make it through this mess. You remember right? How you lied to your parents and your friends about how you completed Data Structures? Well it's alright, I mean I'm the one who did it, not you in the present.
I'll take the burden of the guilt. Don't you bother remembering it alright?
In any case, as usual. I hope wherever you are now, it's in a better place.
And as usual, I love you.
Take care.

To me, whenever...

I honestly never thought I would never find myself writing another entry for this blog. It's been what, TEN whole years since I began this endeavour? Only to stop short once I realized my lack of an audience, even a lack of a direction? But adolescent absurdity aside, the reason I'm currently writing this message write now is to mark a point in my life.

Looking back, especially at these entries, it seems that not much has changed. I still worry about the same people in those stock photographs, still feel little for regret, and am entranced with the world beyond death (if there is one). What has changed though is that I've become more focused, more self-aware of my own foolishness. What's more I no longer fear my interests, rather I embrace them wholeheartedly with open arms, and open trousers.
I don't really know what I should be talking about. I feel like I should leave a message to my future self, many years from now. But then again all messages, regardless of intent, will serve as a glimpse into my past psyche. In any case the world certainly is in disarray right now, and I do certainly hope that by the time I read this again, everything is done and over with. I don't know how much more I can take of it.

My name is Ronald HW Law. I am currently 25 years old and I love to masturbate, to build Gunpla, hike, bike, play videogames, and watch anime. I want to live somewhere on the edge of the world in a meadow isolated from the world. One with pillars lining the front porch, even if it is merely for aesthetic. I want a family with whom I can experience love, joy, and times of hardship. Yes, a family is truly the greatest of desires. Do you remember the names I decided for my potential offspring? Luka or Marshall if it is to be a boy; and Jeanne, if it were a girl. My last name must stay, if only for the WONDERFUL factor. On that tangent I hope Platinum Games is doing quite well for itself during your time. I hope Hideki Kamiya is in good spirit and health.

It's funny, in my youth I believed that by ingesting "mature" content, whether it be from movies, shows, whatever, I somehow thought I would grow into maturity. That the accumulated knowledge would evolve me instantaneously like some kind of pokemon. It wasn't that I wanted to grow up though. No. I simply wanted to find myself in a better situation than what I had. I suppose right now, here at RPI, I'm doing much better than me in High school. Though I still am a shallow piece of shit.

Did you ever manage to finish all those Gundam kits you had? Gathering dust (well not since you threw that RPI blanket on top) in the corner of your old room? I wonder how Bennett's doing now. Is he that Olympic contender as I imagined him to be? I really am proud of him. I know he can do amazing if he were to put in more effort, but I understand his efforts are being split quite evenly between school, work, and athletics.
Are you still overweight? Lacking the willpower to NOT scarf down an entire bag of Pepperidge Farm cookies? I won't blame you. Because, well...., you're me. And I'd like to say that I know myself quite well.
Have you managed to succeed? If yeah, WELL DONE! I knew you could do it. Okay, that's a lie. I have tremendous self doubt. However if you managed to overcome that and reach beyond your own expectations, truly wonderful. If you're in progress, well keep on chuggin' baby. We still got time. Well I hope we have time. And if you've fallen, just know that you've got friends and family who will support you. If you haven't already alienated them. In that case, eh. Life isn't meant to be good or bad. It just is what you make of it.

In any case, I love you. Take good care of yourself.

What you see

Songs you should listen to when you're a Teenager
-Mercy Mercy Me: Marvin Gaye
-The Kids Aren't Alright:The Offspring
-Square One:Coldplay

On Another note~
Have you ever watched those inflight passenger safety videos or glanced at one of those photo frames with a picture of some random blissfully happy bunch. A major chance that you have and never gave a single thought as to those people captured in eternity onto these products, however whenever I find myself in the midst of one of these objects or recordings, I always have to think, what of them now? What have they accomplished since there solitary period of time was captured, are they still alive, how old are they, and are they as happy as they seem in those shots? I can't help but think about and feel a bit of sorrow for them, but I guess that's just me.
(Joh) (T) (Ow)~

Finger Licking good...

Many people have stayed ignorant of the world around them not ignorant of, but uncaring of the destruction of the world around them. Air pollution you think it isn't major right? Oh it's just another phase like puberty and exams. During the night of Black friday I decided to bike a 10 mile road to bestbuy although I had not had any sleep previously and it was 4:00 am, I expected to be refreshed through the ccrisp night air and the glistening stars; mind you I did not purchase anything but simply watched as the huddled masses slowly crept their way into markets. Unfortunatley for me as a biker I had seemingly forgotten my gas mask as I rode through the disgusting smog originating from the exhaust pipes of cars and trucks alike, I made a feeble attempt to cover my mouth as I rode on, however somke is as thin as air and made no trouble for it to reach my lungs. On my return I found I have been breaking into spotaneous sessions of coughing which still have grasp on me. You Fucked up the World as Humans and one day when it's too late your ignorance will reach out and break your fractured view of reality unto actuality. There will always be choices, be sure to make the right one. (Joh) (T) (Ow)~

Preforming on an empty stage

It has been since the dawn of humanity that man himself has gazed upon the stars in the void that is the night sky, and solemnly believed that the universe are existance and our lives are under the watchful eye of a being far greater than any creature conjured up by our imaginations, and who controls our lives from every aspect, us puppets to its plans. Than what do we make of us, all this knowledge and advancements in modern technology may be just another section in the screipt called history in which ends with the actors destroying themselves, a world of predestination, freedom without control, and sight before the blind. Now imagine a world w/o predestination would it be any different? If you believe than how can you tell? What i'm just trying to say is that there are forces beyond our comprehension that we may or never will be able to comprehend, we will discover facts that defy all logic and when that happens our scientists may as well kill themselves from anxiety.
(Joh) (T) (ow)~