To me, whenever...

I honestly never thought I would never find myself writing another entry for this blog. It's been what, TEN whole years since I began this endeavour? Only to stop short once I realized my lack of an audience, even a lack of a direction? But adolescent absurdity aside, the reason I'm currently writing this message write now is to mark a point in my life.

Looking back, especially at these entries, it seems that not much has changed. I still worry about the same people in those stock photographs, still feel little for regret, and am entranced with the world beyond death (if there is one). What has changed though is that I've become more focused, more self-aware of my own foolishness. What's more I no longer fear my interests, rather I embrace them wholeheartedly with open arms, and open trousers.
I don't really know what I should be talking about. I feel like I should leave a message to my future self, many years from now. But then again all messages, regardless of intent, will serve as a glimpse into my past psyche. In any case the world certainly is in disarray right now, and I do certainly hope that by the time I read this again, everything is done and over with. I don't know how much more I can take of it.

My name is Ronald HW Law. I am currently 25 years old and I love to masturbate, to build Gunpla, hike, bike, play videogames, and watch anime. I want to live somewhere on the edge of the world in a meadow isolated from the world. One with pillars lining the front porch, even if it is merely for aesthetic. I want a family with whom I can experience love, joy, and times of hardship. Yes, a family is truly the greatest of desires. Do you remember the names I decided for my potential offspring? Luka or Marshall if it is to be a boy; and Jeanne, if it were a girl. My last name must stay, if only for the WONDERFUL factor. On that tangent I hope Platinum Games is doing quite well for itself during your time. I hope Hideki Kamiya is in good spirit and health.

It's funny, in my youth I believed that by ingesting "mature" content, whether it be from movies, shows, whatever, I somehow thought I would grow into maturity. That the accumulated knowledge would evolve me instantaneously like some kind of pokemon. It wasn't that I wanted to grow up though. No. I simply wanted to find myself in a better situation than what I had. I suppose right now, here at RPI, I'm doing much better than me in High school. Though I still am a shallow piece of shit.

Did you ever manage to finish all those Gundam kits you had? Gathering dust (well not since you threw that RPI blanket on top) in the corner of your old room? I wonder how Bennett's doing now. Is he that Olympic contender as I imagined him to be? I really am proud of him. I know he can do amazing if he were to put in more effort, but I understand his efforts are being split quite evenly between school, work, and athletics.
Are you still overweight? Lacking the willpower to NOT scarf down an entire bag of Pepperidge Farm cookies? I won't blame you. Because, well...., you're me. And I'd like to say that I know myself quite well.
Have you managed to succeed? If yeah, WELL DONE! I knew you could do it. Okay, that's a lie. I have tremendous self doubt. However if you managed to overcome that and reach beyond your own expectations, truly wonderful. If you're in progress, well keep on chuggin' baby. We still got time. Well I hope we have time. And if you've fallen, just know that you've got friends and family who will support you. If you haven't already alienated them. In that case, eh. Life isn't meant to be good or bad. It just is what you make of it.

In any case, I love you. Take good care of yourself.